
Has Kellen been "Savaged" in Cleveland? Has the Patriot dreamboat suffered the unkindest cut? Has Chad been left hanging by Reebok? Will Troy ever hit again?
In a season of unprecedented tumult, these are the Sundays of Our Lives.
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Staff Infection
Hey, sorry that something about our toxic facility might have made you so sick that you had to be hospitalized for several days, but we're going to have to suspend you for having the audacity to be upset about it.
Sounds about right. Seriously, what is going on in Cleveland? When general manager Phil Savage defended Kellen Winslow's one-game suspension by saying "The Browns are bigger than one person" perhaps he was referring to the other five players who have also come down with staph infections as members of the team.
Instead of insisting that Winslow keep mum about a serious health concern surrounding the Browns, perhaps the team should look into why their facility is a breeding ground for the Staphylococcus bacteria.
I guess losing isn't the only thing that's infectious in Cleveland.
Incision '08
Speaking of infections, was Tom Brady operated on in the Cleveland Browns' locker room? All of New England may need to be medicated after hearing the news that the reigning NFL MVP required two more surgeries to clean out an infection in his left knee.
After a report that the Patriots were upset that Brady had chosen to have his surgery in Los Angeles instead of with a team-approved doctor in Boston, the club forcefully denied the claim, saying they were fully supportive of Brady. But it would seem within the team's rights to wonder how that multi-million-dollar knee got infected.
Did the hospital follow protocols for preventing infection? Who was responsible for compromising the sterility of the environment? Was there a Nurse Mangini in the operating room?
NFL Week 8

Week 8 action
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Analysis
- Whitlock: NFL truths
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Here's a collection of worrisome phrases from the AP story to make any Patriots fan sick to his stomach:
"Two more operations to clean out an infection in his surgically-repaired knee."
"Six-week course of intravenous antibiotics ..."
"... the patellar tendon graft used to replace Brady's anterior cruciate ligament could become compromised."
"Brady could need to redo the surgery -- likely delaying his rehabilitation."
Oof. A collection of phrases almost as ugly as Bernard Pollard's original hit.
Plan It, Reebok
Not sure what the manufacturing capability is at Reebok, but wouldn't one suppose that an Ocho Cinco Bengals jersey might be a slightly more popular product than a Johnson Bengals jersey?
In order to fulfill his contractual duties as a billboard for Reebok, Ocho Cinco will have to wear a Johnson jersey for the remainder of this season or compensate the company for lost revenue as a result of his switch. Cincinnati's Keith Rivers had to pay about $10,000 to change his number back to the 55 he wore at USC because Reebok had already manufactured the Rivers/58 jerseys. (No word on sales. Rivers is out for the season with a broken jaw, courtesy a hit by Hines Ward.)
What I don't understand is how a 22-year-old entrepreneur working out of her garage can make unlimited Hockey Mama for Obama sweatshirts on demand but Reebok can't turn around the Ocho Cinco jerseys until next year.
Angry Samoan
The best commercial on television right now is a Nike football spot that follows LaDainian Tomlinson and Troy Polamalu from the womb to impact. It was directed by David Fincher, who uses a remix of Ennio Morricone's "L'Estasi Dell'oro" (The Ecstasy of Gold) from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" soundtrack to spectacular effect. The spot culminates with Polamalu and Tomlinson colliding and bouncing up under the words "Leave Nothing."
But the dandification of the NFL has reached the point where the league has been reduced to insisting its players "leave something," namely a check for any hit that might make the highlight reel that the NFL will turn around and sell for a tidy profit.
The fines handed down to Polamalu teammate Hines Ward prompted the hard-hitting safety to accuse the league of turning football into a "pansy game." He's right. Everyone can tell the difference between a Chuck Cecil-style spear and a collision where the tackler clearly sees what he hits, only to have the crown of his helmet catch the underside of his target's facemask. Everyone, that is, but those in the league office handing out the fines.
Witness for the Prosecution
Perhaps Brett Favre would like to amend his text message to Sports Illustrated's Peter King from "total b.s." to "partial b.s." or maybe even "my bad."
At a press conference in which he attempted to discredit a report by FOXSports.com's Jay Glazer that Favre had helped the Lions prepare for their Sept. 14 game against the Packers, not only did Favre fail to do so convincingly, he practically corroborated key elements of Glazer's story.
First, he admitted to talking to Matt Millen on the phone while Millen was still with the Lions, undermining his "total" denial. Favre went on to point out that the kind of information sharing he's accused of is not against the rules and "happens every day." Why minimize the severity of the impropriety if you yourself were not guilty of it? He went on to say that if he were a "guessing man" there might have been other people listening to the conversation on the Lions' end. Why would anyone want to eavesdrop on Matt Millen's hunting invitation to Brett Favre?
Yes, someone might be guilty of "total b.s." in this NFL espionage whodunit, but it's not Jay Glazer.
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